I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Pooping to opera.
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