Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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