If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
