If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
