hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.