remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
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Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....