Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  By definition I think it does.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.

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  (810): I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp? (989): By definition I think it does. (810): So this is what it feels like to be all that is man. http://tfl.nu/lu2t
  Replies (33) Good night (3669) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.

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  (647): a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much. http://tfl.nu/8vwu
  Replies (79) Good night (4145) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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  (440): I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet http://tfl.nu/p3em
  Replies (27) Good night (6290) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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  (732): It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/fjdb
  Replies (25) Good night (581) Bad night (4890)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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  (718): Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen. http://tfl.nu/l1y2
  Replies (34) Good night (4571) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.

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  (908): Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got. http://tfl.nu/yeqj
  Replies (12) Good night (1232) Bad night (4008)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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  (214): So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open. http://tfl.nu/pz60
  Replies (20) Good night (3673) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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  (303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o
  Replies (14) Good night (6024) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all

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  (618): Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all http://tfl.nu/t0uz
  Replies (11) Good night (3119) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.

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  (843): I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier. http://tfl.nu/n87w
  Replies (5) Good night (3584) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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  (703): Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything. http://tfl.nu/6ga5
  Replies (12) Good night (2298) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.

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  (214): I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere. http://tfl.nu/7002
  Replies (9) Good night (759) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.

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  (248): We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on. http://tfl.nu/3utl
  Replies (2) Good night (1748) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night

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  (248): So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night http://tfl.nu/96c5
  Replies (5) Good night (263) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me

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  (310): Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me http://tfl.nu/imcf
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (223)

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