Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.

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  (480): ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can. http://tfl.nu/7kew
  Replies (5) Good night (2634) Bad night (669)
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  (925): View more from California

  im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?

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  (925): im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going? http://tfl.nu/wvih
  Replies (65) Good night (5115) Bad night (1571)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk

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  (832): just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk http://tfl.nu/fd5v
  Replies (8) Good night (3017) Bad night (649)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

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  (937): she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game http://tfl.nu/2cbt
  Replies (20) Good night (816) Bad night (8407)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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  (906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i
  Replies (56) Good night (1093) Bad night (9830)
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  (707): View more from California

  My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

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  (707): My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet." http://tfl.nu/s1m4
  Replies (52) Good night (16292) Bad night (1861)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1747) Bad night (922)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

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  (318): They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it. http://tfl.nu/p3lc
  Replies (8) Good night (3219) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?

  (940): View more from Texas

  I worry about you.

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  (817): What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes? (940): I worry about you. http://tfl.nu/kzw0
  Replies (6) Good night (671) Bad night (1191)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

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  (774): Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap http://tfl.nu/vchr
  Replies (3) Good night (1270) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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  (509): He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced http://tfl.nu/0gfy
  Replies (7) Good night (1609) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics

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  (774): Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics http://tfl.nu/x2gy
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.

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  (817): Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong. http://tfl.nu/ru69
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯

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  (936): We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯ http://tfl.nu/ljn4
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

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  (979): Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack http://tfl.nu/vyx2
  Replies (7) Good night (704) Bad night (215)

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