Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize