i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize