im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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