names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
