Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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