woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
