the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
