I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
