I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
