Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless