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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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• (831): View more from California

  You should get sea herpes

  (831): View more from California

  I mean sea horses

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.

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• (760): View more from California

  I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.

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• 

  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick

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• (+01): View more from

  I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

  (1+01): View more from

  your the Dr. Phil in my life

  (+01): View more from

  Today is an unchanging day

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Again?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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• 

  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

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• (310): View more from California

  I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers

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