As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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