you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
