i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize