I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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