I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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