just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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