xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
