Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
