why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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