I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
