So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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