Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yo dont text me then not text me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
