I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You are the jesus of drinking
You're breaking my sexual little heart
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
