member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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