whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
