I'm lost and stupid without you.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
