I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize