I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
