someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
smell my finger.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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