Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
