I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
