Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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