I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
