I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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