I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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