Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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