I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize