he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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