NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
