So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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