But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
