dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
