i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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