her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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