now i know why i became what i already was.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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