Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
