Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
