I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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