like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
