Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
