You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
