he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
