We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
